Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: You can with that penis. And I have several more. It's crazy just thumping up against the mic. It's quite like fun to play with. It really, really is.
[00:00:11] Speaker B: How far can you bend it back.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: And it won't break.
What's up, sluts? Welcome back to thy Queendom. Come. We are coming to you straight from XBIZ la. In between events, in between panels. We are exhausted, inspired. It has been such an amazing couple of connecting with people in the sex work and adult industries, from sex workers themselves to advocates and just who else?
Sorry, I'm so. I had such a brain day.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: I had such a banking.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: Banking. There are so many amazing people here and today's episode's not about it, but we are going to do a full length to talk about all the incredible organizations here fighting for some sex worker rights and just overall health in our community and the world. Health and safety.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: It's great to be around so many people that are passionate about this industry and this community.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: So passionate and so fucking intelligent. You know, like people judge sex workers and people in this industry and the people who are on these panels, they are so educated, so well spoken, so, so innovative. And I mean, you have to be, to fucking survive in this industry, you have to be just so brilliant in so many different ways and walk so many different lines. And I'm already talking about it when I said I wasn't gonna fucking do that. But I'm just so excited because it's been so amazing and has nothing to do with the episode that you are going to hear today.
So a couple weeks ago, last week's episode was my interview with Emily. And right after that we just decided to continue going on about my 12 sad subby behaviors. Now, I love my subs, I love my clients, I love what I do. However, and I think I mentioned this in the episode actually, just like with any industry, there are just some behaviors and bullshit that you have to deal with. And the best way sometimes to learn how to be a good sub is to hear what not to be.
[00:02:22] Speaker C: To hear about the shitty ones, to.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Hear about the shitty behaviors and even learn from others and you guys with a dick.
I am mainly talking about virtual subs in this episode and I believe I mentioned this briefly, but just again, I love my subs, I love my clients, I love what I do. And part of what I do is a little training and a little teaching and sometimes to find out who you want to be as a sub, you have to hear what not to be. So all of this is with deep, deep Love. And I love my subs that display some of these behaviors. We work through it. And if you find yourself at the end of this episode needing to work through it yourself, definitely remember to reach out to me on my website, thyquendom.com and with that, we're going to go to a fucking networking happy hour. Important hot girl shit. And you guys enjoy peace.
[00:03:31] Speaker D: Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queen will take over you. Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over you.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: Welcome back to thy Queendom. Come. I'm your host, Queen Low. And tonight I have the privilege of being here with two of my friends. Emily was on last week's episode. She's a sex coach. And goddess, Annalisa, who is actually the queendom's project manager, she's the organization to my fucking chaos. Okay. But she also. We've been friends for a long time and you started working for us in August. And since then I've seen her kind of blossom in a bit, and she's been dabbling in this world and getting paid for being sexy and hot and fun and figuring out her shit too. So it's been. That's a whole episode on its own. Welcome, guys. So happy to have you here. Oh, so good to be here.
So tonight I talk a lot. I realize about how wonderful and amazing my subs are and all these incredible encounters that I have, but I would be completely amiss, and it would be foolish of me and just not real if I didn't talk about the shit that I really don't like. And just like anyone. Just like anyone in any industry, right? There's. There's good providers and there's mediocre providers. There's good clients and there's shitty clients. Absolutely. And you have to deal with all of that. So today I present to you my 12 sad sub behaviors.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Can we add, like, a.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: Number one? Number one, the I just got banged by my sister's cheerleading squad slut. Whoa.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: Oh, I've had this one.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, my God. So this is the sub who messages me and it's like, hey, goddess, I just got pegged by my sister's cheerleading team or another one. I have, like, oh, my. My teacher, like, we reconnected and like, now my teacher makes me her, like, sex slave and actually, like, her husband, like, fucks me too. And, you know, I'm actually getting pegged by like, three people. Right? I mean, it's just. It's so far out in fantasy land. But, like, they want me to continue going on with like, oh, yeah, you got pegged by all those, like, cheerleaders. When really. And this is. This is the fact. One of these guys, I was like, I can't. You know, I'm calling this out. Like, who are you actually? You know, this motherfucker was making pizzas actually in the moment, worked at a fucking pizzeria and was making pizzas in that moment. And has never experienced being fucked by anyone, much less a cheerleading squad. Pretty sure he was a virgin. Like, pretty sure he hasn't had any action at all. It was like he is living in this fantasy that is so fucking far from reality. And when he reaches out to me, he doesn't even reach out to me in reality. He wants to be in this fantasy. And I realize that there are providers who definitely do that. And I think there is a space for fantasy. But I want to know who the fuck you are. I want to know what you're desiring and, like, what's behind this? What's reality? What does your shit actually look like? What is it that you want? And how can we, like, mend that gap? How can we, like, make a bridge there? Because what I've noticed is the people who constantly live in this fantasy land are constantly unhappy with how their life looks. And they are constantly, like, unwilling to actually bring any part of their actual reality or who they are into their play. And so they're always escaping to this land that doesn't exist. It's almost like being obsessed with, like, constantly escaping and never actually addressing what you want.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: That disconnect.
[00:07:45] Speaker A: There is a huge disconnect. And so while I think fantasy and pleasure and what you want has such a huge role here, and I play out fantasies with my subs all the time. The sub that I saw in LA a couple weeks ago, the fantasy that was that him and the female sub that was there were captives, and we made them captives, and they had to do all these things to get out, you know, and they were locked up and caged up, and me had an escape room. Yes, exactly. It's a sexy sex. Exactly. And it's fantasy, right? Yeah. And it's fantasy. It's so hot. It's so hot to get to live that out. But at the end of the day, I know him and I know what he wants, and I know where he's at. I know the actual level that he's. Where he's existing so that I can take that information and now create a fantasy that's hot and that's fun, but that's also rooted in who you actually are.
[00:08:39] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: So that's number one. The fucking. And the cheerleading squad thing is so fucking common.
Literally, that message I've gotten so many times, like, my sister's cheerleading squad just left. She like, they all pegged me and I'm like, oh, did they? Were their boyfriends there too? Yeah, they were. They were all there. It's like, I'm sure. I'm sure they were.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: You do. Do you engage with the desire? How do you respond?
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Interesting. Yeah. So in the beginning, back in the day, especially when I first got on the website and was like, hustling to figure out a. Make money, but also figure out who I was in this and what I wanted, I would kind of engage with it, but not for very long because I didn't feel connected to it. But I played with it and I tried to see if that was my thing. And I only realized it wasn't my thing when I started having conversations with people that were very real and rooted in some sort of reality. And then we could expand beyond that to the fantasy. And so now when subs come to me with that, I tell them that. I say, hey, listen, there's a ton of providers who love engaging with fantasy and roleplay, and that's for me. I like to know who you are. I like to be rooted in some type of actual. Rooted in reality, in the sense of, I know who you are. Like, can we fucking meet? You know what I'm saying?
[00:09:56] Speaker B: What gives them life, gives you life. It's like, that's what they're like when they're really connected to that desire, like, that gives them life. And you can feel that when they connect with that authenticity, when they actually connect with it.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: And we can have a real conversation and you don't have to actually be someone else to play, because I don't actually feel like that does much. You don't have to pretend that you're someone completely different. And that's more than just the fantasy of escaping into the fantasy. I find that people who are so disconnected like that and have these crazy fantasies but yet have. Have, like, no sex life themselves are actually. Don't play, don't tell anyone, don't talk to anyone about what they want. They don't have physical relationships and they're living so far on this fantasy. And it's like, is this where you really want to be forever? Or are there. There are real things behind those fantasies? And that's what I want to get to. What are those real things? And what are the steps to Take to get to that. And it very rarely looks like actually getting fucked by a cheerleading team. It looks like submitting and being free and slutty. And then so I. And I find that actually a lot of subs who I do say that to are very responsive because they didn't know that they had a space to be able to be real.
[00:11:13] Speaker C: Like, almost from the psychological, like, side of it and from the educator side, like, I find it curious where I'm like, oh, they probably feel inadequate just as to come as who they are.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: Who they are. Totally.
[00:11:25] Speaker C: And so that they need to show up with this whole fantasy of, like, this is already who I am, so I'm okay with a dom.
[00:11:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:32] Speaker C: Rather than, you know, being like, raw and being vulnerable.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: Being real.
[00:11:36] Speaker C: And that vulnerable space is so scary for so many people.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: It's terrifying. I actually have subs all the time. Apologize to me all the time. I have subs who will start talking about how what's going on is impacting their life or how their desires or what they're thinking about is taking over their minds and impacting them, and they will actually apologize. I'm so sorry. I know that this is not like what I'm supposed to come here for. Like, you're not my therapist or, you know, I know I'm supposed to, you know, we're supposed to be playing and I'm like, whoa, slow the fuck down. Like, actually, I wish that this was like, more okay because, like, we're engaging in a very intimate and vulnerable. You're being very vulnerable with me. And so connecting you to him, being able to connect. Actually, it's kind of fucked that we think that that's not a part. That's not a part of it. Absolutely right. Yeah. Yes. So that's number one.
Number two.
Gosh. Wow. Number two. Yeah, we've got a lot more of these. Number two is the fucking loud ass screen name guy. Okay, so this is at paypiggyatm. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or like, you know, kick my balls. Like Big Subby. Like, even. Even, like giant cock, those guys. We'll talk about more of those later. But like, you know, like, Big Daddy Zaddy, like, all those guys, like, the loud screen names. And you can pretty much guarantee they are never that. Yeah, they are never that. The loud ass fucking scream screen names, they will come onto platforms, they will come onto Twitter, they will come onto lives, they will message you and they will actually expect attention and they will expect time, in a way, because they have this name, Pay Piggy and or shit like that, right? They're actually predators in a sense because they are trying to get attention based on, you think I'm going to pay? You think I'm going to like be this, you know, Fendom Pacelet. Like it's like you're actually like 9.8 times out of 10, 100% not like they're just people looking for attention. They're just regular ass men who have found another way to manipulate the space and get attention that they're actually never going to pay for. And that's completely undeserving. So that's number two.
And I hate that I'm giving all of them out there. No, this, okay? This is the truth. Any guy who actually is like spending a lot of money here and he's like, most of them have like John, John 00 names. You know what I'm saying?
Right? Because people who have money and who are successful, they operate in life in a way and they operate in this space in the same fucking way. Absolutely. And I always say that these guys who come in and they want everything for nothing. Those are the same motherfuckers that go out to the bars and want everything for nothing. Like they want L literally they call you baby. They want all your time, all your information. They touch you. They want everything. And what do they offer in exchange? Nothing. Zero. They want everything in exchange. And then they're the same ones who get fucking mad and angry and aggressive when you don't give up to them. It's the same ones, you know when I'm on a live chit chatting or when they come in and they expect me to do these things I don't offer. They want me to like fucking get up and give them a fucking show. And I'm like, no sir. You know, and then they get angry and violent and those are the same that are going out and doing that shit in person. So that's number two.
[00:15:17] Speaker C: Yep, yep. They're in my tick tock comments.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: Trust me. Oh, I know they are 100. I hate that I'm giving them advice to make them smarter. But you know what? Those aren't the ones listening to this right now. Definitely not.
[00:15:28] Speaker C: They're in my DMs being like, you didn't answer my comment like you. And I'm like, what?
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Literally? No, I love guys will come in and like so I go live on loyal fans sometimes and it's fun. It like I meet subs that way and I have great conversations. It's like my office hours and dudes will Come in and they'll be like, what's your private price? You know, like show titties. And I'm like, I'm not showing titties. So, like, show your titties or like, go private. Let's go private. I'm like $9aminute. They'd be like, oh, fuck you, bitch. You ain't got sex in six months. It's like, bro, literally five seconds ago you were trying to have my attention and now you can't afford it or I'm not willing to. And now you're fucking mad. And it's a really loud way of saying that you can't afford it. And I can't imagine how intolerable you are in person in real life. Yeah. Yeah. And so. So that's number two.
Number three, the one word answer guy.
Everyone, every female knows it. We all know it. Like, in general, men aren't the best. I don't want to blanket statement it, but they're just not great communicators. A lot of times that comes into. When they're uncomfortable, when they're awkward, when they're whatever it comes into this world. And so I will have a sub who I'm like sending videos of words and I'm saying things and leading them on this journey. And they'll be like, f, like more mommy, you know? And they're. And then when it's all said, they're just like, that was the hottest thing ever. Oh, my God. What? And I'm like, that was. I mean, it's okay, you know? Or like we'll get on a call and it's like, I know they're having like the time of their life and they'll message me afterwards about how meaningful, wonderful it was, but in the moment, they couldn't form, they couldn't string together letters to string together words to make a fucking coherent sentence. And I get it, there's blood flow. It can't flow in both ways. Lost in your beauty.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Yeah, lost in your beauty.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: I had a guy the other night. I had a guy presents.
Shane. I had a sub the other night who I've worked with for a long time. And he's very much like, has to be in a very specific space to be submissive. And he's a good looking dude, dominant. And we chatted for a long time before the call and we got on the call and he is just fucking mesmerized like in the rant. And it like 30 should be, but like, couldn't say a word. Okay. And usually like My longer calls, hour plus calls are like, there is more of a dialogue going. Like I'll have, I have do have some calls where the guy is not engaged and it's, he's very, you know, the one word answer. They don't typically last very long. But I had one like last week and it lasted like 75 minutes. And for the last half hour I actually, for 30 minutes he is like, you know, kind of mindless gooning. I'm talking and, and I'm not like doing sexual things. It's more of a. I'm leading him, telling him what to do. Finally I start to count down, he starts to beg for more time. So I flipped him upside down and he's just upside down for over half an hour, just oh my God, fucking staring, telling him what to do. And I'm kind of just talking to him and just kind of like moving like, just kind of, you know, like being a goddess. Like being a goddess, just kind of swaying and he's just like eyes wide, upside down, just kind of like staring, you know. And I think that there's part of a kink. It's like the gooning, the mindless of just like getting lost in it. But it's a lot, it's hard to do when you're getting nothing. You get and you realize they're having, I mean the text afterwards. It's amazing. It's what you know. And they have this crazy experience but they themselves if they were more open because the ones who are like, even when they're doing body worship or they're doing that gooning, they're still very like engaged with their mouth. Like the throat chakras on these motherfuckers are blocked. Use your mother fucking words, you know, like he'll just be like, yeah. And it's like, you know, like there's so much going on in your head. I can see your eyes shifting. Like you're, you're shaking, you know, there's so much going on and you can't say shit but fuck.
So I realized the issue. It doesn't stop me from being extremely annoyed and exhausted. I can go a three, I've had three hour calls where I get off of them and I'm like, that was fucking awesome. Like what's next? That's amazing. So much fun. And then I'll have a 10 minute call with someone like that and I am beat. I'm like, shit, you just took everything from me.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: You're having to like use all of your skill, which speaks to your skill. Like, to be able to do that.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: For 17 minutes, vlogging, like, fucking. I don't know.
[00:20:46] Speaker C: That needs to be celebrated.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Thank you very much. It should be celebrated. That doesn't mean I'm gonna fucking like it. No.
[00:20:55] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: I should have numbered that.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: It's still number three.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: I should have numbered that.
[00:20:58] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:20:59] Speaker A: Oh, God. Number four. Number four.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: The.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: I am a pilot. I can. I'm sorry. This is so fucking funny. I'm a pilot, and I can get a buddy pass guy, okay? So I had this sub once, and he. I was texting. I was telling him about how I had all these trips coming up in the States and I was flying all these places, and he's like, I'm a pilot. He's like, yeah, I could fly you. And I was like, oh, man. I have been, you know, wanting to go private for a while. Like, yes, I'll pay my carbon offsets, like, 100%. I realized, irresponsible, but, like, I'll pay those carbon offset. Like, I want to go, yeah. Fuck, yeah, let's do it. Like, we've done video calls. We've. You know, it's. It's cool. He's a pilot. He seems normal enough, and he starts going in. I'm telling him about, my brother wants to be a pilot. At some point, he wants to go to pilot school. And we start having these conversations, and then he ends up asking me, like, what airline I'm booked on. And then he tries to see about getting, like, a buddy pass onto the flights or getting a flight that he could get a buddy pass to. I don't even know how to explain this, because it didn't even make fucking sense. But essentially he was like, I'm a pilot, so I can get a free buddy pass ticket on the flight that you're on and go to the state that you're going to and just hang the fuck out.
[00:22:20] Speaker C: So he wanted to join the.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: He wanted to just hang out. He wasn't a fucking pilot offering me a private flight. He wasn't. He was just wanting to hang out. And the thing is, I use the pilot example, but this is not uncommon where these guys don't necessarily want sessions. You know, they're like, I'm a chef. Come over and I'll cook lasagna for you.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: And it's like, do you know where you came to and what service you're asking for?
[00:22:47] Speaker C: It's the wrong experience for the girlfriend experience.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, do you like a. Like, brag on myself. I'm at the top of this site. Okay, Sex Panther, I've been a top performer since I got on that. But do you see my prices? Like, do you see how often my line is busy because I'm on the phone? Do you think that I came here for a dating experience? Do you think I came here to have an actual buddy like he wanted? He was trying to hop, hop.
He wasn't pay. He wasn't even offering to pay for my mother fucking ticket. He was trying to get on the flight that I was already on. And I'm like, wait a second, we're just going on this adventure together. Fuck ass. No.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: And why are you out of all of the other subs or men in my life? Like, why you.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Like, I'm sitting here with a. An absence of fcking company.
[00:23:47] Speaker C: Like, who wants fucking company on an airplane ride, like a nap? What?
[00:23:53] Speaker A: That actually sounds like my personal fucking hell. To be on a fucking flight with someone you that I don't know. But it's so common how many of these guys will slide in and actually just be like, so you want to get together and like blaze up sometime?
It's like saying, just because I smoke a shit ton of pot does not mean I will ever smoke pot. Like, I will never be high enough to want to smoke pot with you, sir. Unless you're paying a fat fucking hourly rate. And you're a sub, and you're a sub and you're within the guidelines. So that's number four.
So moving on, moving on to number five, the top from bottom guy. Now, this one actually irks my fucking gears. This one actually pisses me off. Okay, because. Well, I'll give you a story. I had a guy call from Jersey, of all places, of course, and he is on the phone call, right? And he's like, yeah, like flex your muscles. Flex, flex. Like do crunches. Like flex, like flex your biceps. And I had probably been into this.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Telling you what to do.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Sorry, that's what. That's exactly it. Okay? That's it. That's it. Telling me what to do as a dominant. Right? So you're topping from the bottom. And this is actually a very interesting conversation I feel like I could talk in length about because as a dominant. In my position, my client is the one paying me. But they are choosing. The subs I work with are choosing to submit and to be in that space. And that's why one of the reasons I love connecting with them and knowing who they are as a person is that as a provider, some of the lingo and Some of the fun of it is, like, you're doing what I want you to do, but the safety and the beauty in that is that what I want you to do is based on knowing you and the relationship. And you're giving me the power to lead you and to direct you, you and to guide you. And so we have these conversations about what you want and what you don't want outside of the bedroom, you know, outside of the play. We establish the guidelines, the hard limits, the soft limits. And then I get to know you. And I know things about my subs that they don't know about themselves just based on working. Like, I know things that they're going to like, months before they know that they like them. And we work up to it, right? But when you have these subs who come in and they'll be like, yeah, like, call me this, call me this. Like, make me do this. Force me to do this, make me do this. And I'm like, first of all, fuck no. Like, you telling me how to dom you is not me doming you. And it's actually just another way of guys going about it in the same fucking way in life. Like, they're still. It's still the same shit. They're not actually getting into anything. They're not actually releasing the power. And so all of a sudden, then, as a dom, if you're engaging with that, you're just feeding this kink, feeding this whatever, and not actually dominating, which I think can be interesting. If you're in this industry and you're needing that money and you're hustling and it's like, yeah, if I just fucking do this, I get paid, but it doesn't feel very fucking good. And I think that's someone like, as doms in the industry and colleagues, I have to go through that and have to figure it out for themselves. I certainly figured it out. I was very early on. I. But I don't respond well to that anyways. Like, I've never responded well to that anyway. So the first time I have a guy who's like, do crunches. Fucking show me your abs. I'm like, excuse me? Like, you do a back bend, like, you can fuck all the way off. And I ended the call and he would come back and constantly. But, please, like, just do crunches. And I'm like, I don't want to work with you. That for me, is such a huge thing of success of being able to actually say, we don't vibe. There are thousands of people on the site who Will do that. Yeah, it's not for me.
[00:27:48] Speaker C: It's also maybe a different kink. Maybe you're inexperienced, maybe you're looking for something and this is not actually what you're looking for as well.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: Are these guys in real life actually even able to engage with that site? Or are they coming onto the Internet with these girls to be able to tell someone and be in a masculine position, they're just going to the wrong service when they come to you?
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Well, A, they're coming to the wrong service, but B, something that actually worries me about this specific type of behavior is that they come to a dom and they want to be submissive. However, they're saying, make me do this, force me to do this, tell me to do this. So what that tells me is that you have a deep misunderstanding of what true submission is. And that when you go out into the world, you probably think that like making a woman submit, making her take it up the ass, making her do this, that, that's submission. And I'm not about to, I'm not about to perpetuate that because that's not submission. Because if you're like. And that's why when sluts come to me and they're like, I want you to make me gay, I'm like, listen, I'll give you dick, I'll give you fucking cock, mine or others, you know, But I'm not doing anything that you don't really want to fucking do yourself and that you're not begging to do. And when you can take accountability of that, then we can fucking talk. Yeah.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Do you think when people hear about this industry and this type of work that they like aren't really educated on what they're looking for even when they come?
[00:29:16] Speaker A: So, like, totally.
[00:29:16] Speaker B: There's people that have to train them too.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: Yeah, no, they're absolutely. I have a guy who I ended up. It's so funny, we ended up doing a call together and it was amazing. It was like an hour long call. But when he started messaging me, I was on live actually. And I had a really good live going. I had great people there and I was like feeling my shit. And so I started voice noting. He was like, make me do this, like, oh, I'm not gonna sub for you, da da da. And I'm like, we are not a fit, you need to go elsewhere. And he kept coming back and so I charged him like almost double for everything and he kept paying it and I kept telling him to fuck off and he never did. And I actually called him top from bottom Guy. And one of my favorite subs, Stank Feet is amazing. Stank Feet.
Stank Feet is one of the most incredible people. Shout out. Well, or he's been shout out, stanks, we love you. But he always asks, like, how. From house top. From bottom Guy. And I'm like, you know what?
We ended up having a conversation, and he was saying, like, I'm sorry. I just. Like, I thought that's how I'm supposed to approach this. Like, I don't really know how to. And it's like, they don't know how to come in and actually submit. They think they have to power struggle and, like, fight for that. And that's why I say, in my dungeon, there is no question who's in power. And it's just a matter of, can you trust me to take that and can you know yourself enough and be, you know, open enough to share with me so that I can take it in that way?
[00:30:49] Speaker C: It's almost the same as cheerleader guy. It's just a different way of putting it.
This is who I think I need to be in order to enter this space.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: Right? Like, how can I enter this space as a very dominant, Very dominant man? Oh, I'm supposed to, like, I'm supposed to fight for this power. I'm not supposed to give her this power, which is something I said in the Fendom episode, which is like, every woman who is in fucking power, in positions of power, you ask her, and she. She took that power. In their success stories, they talk about, I took that power. And they take that power every motherfucking day when they deal with the patriarchy, you know, they take that power when. And in what other space is power actually given away? And it would be really beneficial for the world if power was given away. And there were women sitting around really important tables making really important decisions. But because women. Women have to fucking take that power all the time. Yeah. This is a step in that. And so that's why it triggers me so much when guys come in and try to tell me, don't tell me what to do, motherfucker, don't do it. He doesn't do it.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: I've had to be like, no, sorry, who's the Dom here?
[00:32:00] Speaker A: Right? Can we.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: Can we check in your place?
[00:32:03] Speaker A: Yeah, back in your spot. All right. Number six, Buffalo Bill.
Buffalo fucking Bill slash Silence the Lambs guy.
And I don't actually know. I hope not. Fuck. I hope they haven't killed people. Hope they're not going to. But the energy is just off okay. And some of it's trauma made. It's started in trauma, but it's an energy. Like, it's an energy of, like, I just answer the call and it's like a fucking scary circus going on. I'm like, are we about to sacrifice a goat? Like, what's happening? There's like, a Doberman running around with a hot pink spike collar. Like, you know what's going on? And it's definitely an energy, and it makes me feel at the end of it, like, I need to sage. I have a lot of sage in my house, and I should do, like, an energetic cleansing. And also, while I may not love it, at the end of the day, I'm happy they're here and not out. Like, I am glad that they are engaging with this part of themselves and this situation here with me, because we don't need to transfer that trauma or energy, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. But like I said, I don't love it. And it's not. It's not all trauma situations. People with deep, dark, ugly shit. Right? Because there's a lot of that and the energy that they bring to it. But just like, in any industry, when you have there. There are fucking crazy dark people out there who shop at Target as well. You know, they're a customer there. Okay. And they're a customer here. And it's. It's a lot.
[00:33:57] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. And I could imagine it's a lot when all of a sudden you just chime in or start the video, and all of a sudden it's that energy rather than, like, bringing you along for the ride.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: Right? Like, where are we starting? It's like all of a sudden they just call out of nowhere, and my calls are on, and I'm like, hello. And what's going on here? My adaptability, my adaptive strength. Then it's just like, all right, readjust. This is. Okay. Like, so. Yeah, again, it's an energy thing. It's an energy thing. Bring me your ugly, Bring me your tired, and you're wretched and you're disturbed and all the things. But fuck, man, in every industry, we have to cleanse some shit.
[00:34:37] Speaker D: Absolutely.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: So without getting too dark, that was number six. Number seven, the fucking Hagler.
Let me tell you something about me. I do not negotiate with terrorists or sluts.
Do not come to me trying to fucking negotiate. It is hilarious. It is offensive. It makes me laugh. And it's also. Those are always. The guys are like, I want you to humiliate me. And I'M like, baby boy, you're doing it all yourself.
Save your money. What you're doing is embarrassing enough. Or like, I have a five minute minimum with my calls, $10aminute. And they'll be like, can we do two minutes? I'm like, I don't get on the phone for less than 50 bucks for time and money wise. But also like, what am I going to do with you in two minutes? This tells me you're calling to just like, wink, wink, wink, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. And then like bust. And I'm just not into it. I'm just not here for it. So, yeah, the Hagler. This is not the street fair.
[00:35:43] Speaker C: How often, how often do you experience the haggler? Because I can imagine it would be often.
[00:35:48] Speaker A: Yes.
On social media.
[00:35:53] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:53] Speaker A: Never on the platforms. When people come on the platforms and it's $2 to message me, and they message me, they're there to pay. Like, they know that this is a service. It's a line in the sand. You pay, I provide. Whereas on Twitter and on social media, they'll ask if you do calls and then you say yes, you give your price. And then they'll be like, yeah, I've just been thinking a lot about, like getting fucked and da, da, da. And like, I just want you to. I want to feel this. And they're giving me narratives and I'm like, let's get on the phone. You could pay me for my time. I'm not going to sit here and chit chat with you on fucking Twitter. Like, do you know how flooded my DMs are? Like, that's why I got into this business. It's because I was spending too much time trying to respond to messages on Instagram about people messaging me genuine things. And I was like, I can't feed my fucking. I can't pay my bills with feeling good about having these conversations. You know what I'm saying?
[00:36:57] Speaker B: I know I'm good at this. That's why my prices are set the way they are.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: Trying to haggle them down, right? Or like, oh, can we just, can we just do this? This is all I have. Or I've been scam before. Can we like have a verification of it? And I'm like, you getting scammed, you not having the money to invest in this. You not being able to afford my prices is not my fucking problem.
[00:37:23] Speaker B: You know what we call them? Time wasters.
[00:37:26] Speaker A: Time wasters. And so I can sense them from a mile away these days. Like, my DM requests, they stay and they get ignored because, like, you know, like, hi. They'll message you on Twitter, like, hi.
It's like, yeah. Yes. No, delete.
[00:37:43] Speaker C: Just learning this for myself as just a sexuality educator where, like, these people come in my DMs.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: They want so much of your time.
[00:37:50] Speaker C: They want so much of my time. And I say, hey, Brooke, I. I offer free calls. Hey, book a free call. Let's get on a call. Let's do this in 15 minutes. No, no, no, no, no. Can you just answer this list of 10 or they'll send, hey, can I email you? I have a list of 10, 15 questions. And I'm like, no, it's such a lack of respect. I don't have time, unfortunately.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: Like, you don't. This is.
[00:38:10] Speaker C: Some people pay for this, and this is why I'm in this career. But.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: And I'm good at it.
[00:38:14] Speaker C: And then I always get them, okay, bitch. And I'm like, yeah, okay.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: No, it just shows you how much they respect you in the beginning because they don't care about taking your time from something they can't. They don't care about your time or the effort. They know you're good at it. They want to take something and when they can't have it, like, yep. And that's not somebody I want to work with. I don't care if you're going to give me $20. Like, I mean, fuck off.
[00:38:36] Speaker B: And you're so, like, strong in your self worth as well. Like, that's when you've hit that point of like, okay, you can come to me and try and hug all the prices, but, like, I am this.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: Worth. And you're not a sub of mine that I want.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: No, these are my rates. These are my rates. One guy, I had a message from a guy who wanted to do a call on Twitter and he sent me a thing and he was like, oh, well, all the other models, like, I've done so many calls, and they charge four to five dollars a minute, like, all the time. Da, da, da, da, da. And I was like, not my clients. And then right after that, I had a guy paying like 20, $25 for a video. And then we did a call for 30 minutes and I just posted both of them side by side on Twitter where this guy was like, how much goddess sent? And this guy's like, all the other models do it for four to five dollars. And I'm like, look at my face. Well, you can, because you can't afford to. But, like, if you could see it, you would see That I don't give a single solitary fuck. I could search the entire world and come up fucking empty. Like, sorry, like, bye, bye.
[00:39:42] Speaker C: Go to those other fucking models then. Why are you still here?
[00:39:45] Speaker A: Go there. And also, I know a lot of my colleagues are not charging that per minute, by the way. That's just. It's. It was a good fake news.
Let's see. Okay, that was number seven. Number eight. Oh, this one. The ghost.
The guy who calls me with his audio and his video off. Even if we've talked for a while, we've texted, he'll call, and we will have a whole thing. And the thing is, sometimes people say, you know, are you doing shows? Bitch, I don't do shows. I am a dominatrix. Respect me.
You're the one giving the show. I don't give a fuck if I can see you or not. Like, I'm not over here. Like, I move when I talk, and I'm obviously, like, the way that I am, but I'm not over here, like, fucking twerking my ass for you to get off. Like, if that's what you're looking for, like, you're in the wrong place. So. But there are very legitimate reasons that people don't want to be on camera. Like, very legitimate. They're scared. They have status. Like, whatever it is. However, it always makes me wonder, like, who are you?
Especially? Some guys will call and they'll have the video off, but audio on. I'm better with that. But they're every once in a while, audio, video off. And we're on a video call, and I'm talking to them, and they're typing. I'm like, who are you, motherfucker? Do I know you? Have we met? I know. I know you, and I know that one of those motherfuckers in this situation has been someone I know. And there's a couple people on my list. I'm like, that motherfucker would do some shit like this. And at the end of the day, they're paying to do it. So, like, they're the fucking weirdo. And, like, whatever. Like, it's fine. It's just a little weird. So the ghost. The ghost bothers me a little bit. I'm like, come on. Like, I'm here. You see me, we're talking. Don't be so shy or weird or whatever it is that you are.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: Like, do you feel a connection with them?
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Not in the same way I can. One of my favorite subs that I've had ever. We've only ever had Phone conversations, never video. And we've connected in a great way. And I have subs who don't have a webcam, but they can talk. And being able to hear their voice, I can connect with them. But it is very hard to connect with someone when it's a one way thing. Because at the end of the day it's like there's no trust here.
[00:42:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:18] Speaker A: Like you do not trust this situation and that's okay. And I understand.
And we can still, you know, they're typing and we're having that conversation. But it's like, how far can I actually lead you if A, you're having to type every second and B, there's not this like deep level of trust. Clearly. And some of those do evolve. And some of those have gone from complete, like wanting to be anonymous like that to actually having really cool calls. And that gives me faith and it makes me realize that some of these guys are genuinely just that fucking shy and scared.
[00:42:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:54] Speaker A: And so it does evolve a lot of the time. But that doesn't mean I fucking like it. And every single time I think about all the weirdos in my life and in my past and I'm like, I know it's you, motherfucker. And sometimes I call it out. Sometimes I call it out. It's.
[00:43:10] Speaker C: That's so it's really interesting because for mine, because I have a lot of like ghost kind of clientele too where like a men will. Men especially will come on and they don't want to show their face because they're not ready to say, sure. They're not ready things and be seen. However, if you want to work with me, you sign contracts. So I know who you are. I know everything about you.
[00:43:28] Speaker A: See, that's so interesting. That's a difference between our. Really.
[00:43:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:31] Speaker A: Our work. Like.
[00:43:32] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Coming to me is they very much can remain anonymous forever. Which that's an interesting distinction.
[00:43:39] Speaker C: It is. The trust is everything. Especially dogs.
[00:43:42] Speaker A: The trust. And I also think like, it's hot. A lot of guys who have ended up sending pictures or videos or have gone on cam, they find out how hot it is to be seen.
[00:43:55] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:43:56] Speaker A: And I think at the end of the day there is a fear of just being seen. And I think, or the way that they sound or whatever, that is such a real fear. And so I recognize that that's the reality of it. But on my side it feels fucking weird.
And also I'm just staring at myself the whole time, you know, okay, that's number eight. Number nine. I'm gonna Dominate the Dom guy. And this might sound a little bit like top from bottom guy, but it's a little bit different. It's actually a guy who comes in. This is another triggering and annoying one. This is a guy who comes in knowing that I am a dominant, that that's the service that I provide. But he comes in wanting to be the one that makes you submit.
Baby, child, love, brother, sister in Christ. It's never gonna fucking happen. And it's such a deeply fucked up thing. It's so triggering to them to have a woman who they want sexually. Like, they want to be able to fuck me and bend me over and be inside me and whatever the fuck they come at me with. However, it is not an option. And that is not the role that we are in. And it will never happen. And you won't dominate me. Like, you won't even come close. And you couldn't even if we met in person. And both of us not that deep down, know that. And it's deeply triggering because a lot of the girls on the site, and that's why I tell them, I'm like, there are a bajillion girls on this site who love to submit to you. Like, that's the role they're playing. But you come to the person who doesn't do that, and you want to make them submit. You want to be the one. And it says something about. Says something deeply kind of troubling about them. And it's almost like, do they want to submit, like, somewhere. Not that deep down? Like, I don't really know, but they are constantly like, I want to give you my dick. I'll tell them to fuck off. I'll remove them. I will send them voice notes telling them exactly like, that that's never gonna fucking happen. And how. I think they're deeply triggered by that fact and that maybe we need to get them. And they're on their knees and the only sucking that's gonna happen is them of my fucking giant cock.
And they'll literally, literally giant. Literally giant cock. And they'll open this shit and they'll keep coming back.
[00:46:26] Speaker C: And it's like you like the narcissistic personality type.
[00:46:30] Speaker A: It's me fucking bizarre. It's like, you have got to be intolerable to be around.
Yeah, but it's just. It's. Honestly, it's not one of those things I even engage with. Like, I shut it down pretty fucking quickly and they either shift and it's that moment of realizing I didn't know how to go but usually with those guys, it's not the top from bottom, where they're just trying to be submissive and they're. They do want it, but they're, like, still leading and they're not. You know, these guys, I feel like, actually have this intent. Like, they want to dominate the dominant. They could dominate submissive, but no, they are triggered by that fucking power. And I feel really bad for the women around them.
[00:47:13] Speaker C: How does that play out in every other part of the world in their life? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:47:17] Speaker B: Do you think that this type of man coming to see you is, like, still exploring his sexuality?
[00:47:24] Speaker A: I can think of a couple of guys who had struggled with this, and we have talked, and it's actually become productive. And they could come to me, like, they realize there's a space and it's a struggle for them to get into it, but they do. When they're in that very particular space, we can work together. But the majority of guys that come in with that intent, it's mal. It's not. They're not coming here for any, like, growth. They're not coming here for any actual, like, positive outcome. I just don't want to work with them. Like, I can work with someone for fucking Buffalo Bill shit. Like, before. I can work because at least they're having an energy. It's a fucking thing, but we're working through it. You know what I'm saying? But these guys, it actually feels very, like, aggressive. Actually. It feels very aggressive. It feels very forceful. It feels very. Like they're the ones who. It gets, you know, very angry and they need a different type of fucking help. And it's. It's at, like, a point where I'm not willing to, like, sit here. I'll send you voice notes back and forth and charge you extra to tell you why I'm not going to do it, but I'm not going to fucking do it.
[00:48:29] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:48:30] Speaker B: Deal with it enough in real life as well as women.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: Like, that's the thing. That's the thing. We deal with it in real life as women. And these are guys who are perpetuating that shit. And so I like to call that out and say it very bluntly. What I think is going on here and how I think you're responding and triggered by this, because it's so clear when you go to a site with thousands of models and thousands of people to talk to, and you come to one that is very clearly a dominatrix submission coach and you come trying to push this shit on me, it's speaking to something deeper than you just wanting to be dominant. It's speaking to you, wanting to be forceful and you wanting to be aggressive. And you. You not being okay with a dominant female, which speaks a lot of shit. And you need a lot of help and I don't have the time or energy for that shit.
So that's number nine. All right. Number ten.
Cheers. Number ten.
The shame cycle guy.
It sucks because it's very real. But the call, text, obsess, binge, like go into it heavy. You can feel the shame in there and then delete account, disappear, make new account. I've been trying to resist and now I'm coming back. And it's like very clear that they're in this, like, shame, guilt. I feel shitty, but I really want this. And there are guys who are actually working through that and who are trying to like, get rid of shame and do that in a productive way and use kink and fetish in this space as a way to process that. And then there are people who actually get off on just the shame. And it's just. It's sad to see, like, they actually love feeling disgusting. It's like, I don't know if it's because their life mirrors that in a sense where they are projecting that onto other people and it gets them off and they hate this part of themselves and they don't really want to change that because it's such a strong feeling, like in and outside of the bedroom, this projection of shame and guilt. And it's this cycle that's so easy to identify. It's such a noticeable pattern. And it's sad because some people want to work through it and some people really don't. And I have to be there for those people too, because the shame cycle, when expressed, and it can be expressed in really toxic and horrible, awful ways. You could take this shit out into the world and traumatize people with it or further traumatize yourself. So I show up for these people and I love that I can show up for them. However, it's sucks to know that they are in this cycle that I don't even think they want to get out of because it's so fulfilling. And maybe they don't want to take the steps to change their life or accepting something not feeling shame about it would change who they are in their day to day. It would change their identity if they accepted something. And so they have to deal and that shame fucking takes over and it's. And then they get off on it. And so it sucks. But I'M still here for it.
[00:51:54] Speaker C: It's something that I see often, which it's really interesting because what we usually end up finding is that this shame ends up becoming an energy source for these people.
[00:52:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:04] Speaker C: And instead of finding, like, a pure source of energy, where I'm talking about just, like, confidence and, like, loving yourself and, like, really working, it's just like a full, complete being. They're. They're feeding off of the shame and the negativity and it becomes really like, okay, you can get this almost like bump of energy from it, from feeling like shit. And that's all they know.
[00:52:27] Speaker A: And it just repeats. I mean, that's humiliation.
[00:52:30] Speaker C: And then there's this difference between where it's like, hey, it's either can become a kink. But then we also heal the shame around the shame kink and still enjoy the.
[00:52:38] Speaker A: There's a way to take power over it and for it to still be hot and to still address the shame. And it is hot. That's the thing. Like, the shame, the things we feel bad about, those things can arouse us, turn us on. And there's a way to address that and lean into that without actually feeling constantly like a shit human being.
[00:52:59] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:53:00] Speaker A: And going through every day feeling like.
[00:53:02] Speaker C: Trash stuck in that cycle.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: Oh, so.
[00:53:05] Speaker C: So this is all I know. And this is what feeds me right now.
[00:53:08] Speaker A: It's what feeds me. And that's what sucks about the stories I hear from subs of doms who, you know, do make them feel shitty. And that's real, like, humiliation, kink. That's what you're signing up for. You go in to a session and the dom is like, you are a piece of shit, you stupid gay. Like, whatever it is, like, just awful. Whatever they want to be called, the derogatory terms that they get off to and that they actually feel shame about it. And they get off to it for an hour, and then afterwards they actually feel shame about it when in a lot of sense, it's like, there's no sense in it. You know, it's fucking stupid. But they actually do feel shame about it. And so they don't leave the sessions feeling empowered and excited and confident. They leave feeling really shitty that they just spent that money and got off to that. And that's traumatizing for. For people to go through. And I think it's. It's so not BDSM at its core, which is. It sucks. Like, BDSM is a safe space of consent and conversation and openness. And just as beautiful as it is how Available, this is to people. It becomes polluted with people who want to make a quick buck and have no idea about any of this shit. And it just perpetuates it.
[00:54:21] Speaker C: It does. And it's funny when you learn about BDSM where you're like, oh, my God, these are the most consenting, non shameful accepting motherfuckers you could ever imagine in your life.
[00:54:31] Speaker A: Right?
[00:54:32] Speaker C: Like. And to be a part of that community is something so beautiful.
[00:54:35] Speaker A: So beautiful.
[00:54:36] Speaker C: And that's the point of it.
[00:54:36] Speaker A: I've never felt safer, like at a party as I have with. Within the bdsm.
[00:54:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:54:43] Speaker A: Lifestyle. Fellow kings. Just like fellow kinksters. I felt safe, protected. Like, best believe if anybody comes up to you and you say no and they pursue you, that motherfucker is getting kicked out immediately.
[00:54:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:54:54] Speaker A: And on the same sense, if I want to make out with one person and then go make out with another person, that's fucking cool too. You know, it's just safe and fun and. And so it sucks that it can be twisted. It can be really twisted and dark in people's own shit. On the dom side, like, people's own hatred towards men or feelings towards men becomes, you know, they're a dom and fuck you, man. It's a very weird, weird blurred line. That's not. It keeps the pain continuing and it keeps it continuing. And that's the thing I say, you know, this work, we have the power to change the world. We have such an impact on people. And it kills me to see people, to see women and DOMs using their power to actively make it worse. And at the end of the day, like, if they're doing. If they're actively making it worse and if they're home wrecking and if they're ruining a man's life not thinking about the impact it has on every woman around him, if they are actively making other women's lives worse, then they are no better than the men that they claim to hate and they are just perpetuating this cycle.
[00:56:00] Speaker C: Yeah. Just using and abusing the entire thing.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:56:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:56:04] Speaker A: All right. I love this one. Number 11. I actually do really love this one because I feel like I bring a lot of. I shine a lot of light for a lot of people. The broke, blackmail slut.
This is a conundrum in itself. Okay, so blackmailer exposure, right? You have subs who want to be exposed on your timeline. They want to give you all their information and they want you to, like, blackmail them. They want to be exposed. They'll give you their Girlfriend's fucking name, their place of business and this information, right? Or they want to.
But here's the fucking kicker about this, is that eight out of 10, because there is, every once in a while, two times out of 10, there's an actual black male slut. And it's fucking fun and it's interesting and there's a way to go about it. It is an expensive fucking kink. And also a kink that on most platforms isn't supported because it's so connected to fraud and so much can go wrong. So it's not something I offer like on platforms, but people will reach out to me on Twitter and so like about this, and even when they do reach out on platform, my response to them is, what actually do you want? Because there are as many different ways of going about this as there are people. You know, are you wanting to be filmed doing something and posted online, or are you wanting, you know, information control? And what I find is that most of the time the fantasy is about having enough money and having a life worth blackmailing.
It's not actually blackmailing itself because they. Most of the guys who reach out about this don't have the money to support the kink. Like, if I'm going to sit here and say, if we are actually going to go into the space and it's like you're going to give me your information and I'm going to control it to do it, right? It's expensive, right? Like, it's pricey or even to the extent of we're going to do a video call and I'm going to film you and I'm going to put it up online or on Twitter and then you're going to have to pay to get it taken down. So now you're having to afford $10aminute for a call, and then you're going to have to afford the takedown price. And the majority of the time, these guys don't have the money to even do that, much less heavily blackmail. Like I said, I've had a couple of really cool blackmail calls where they did have the money and it was fucking fun and they paid a lot. And it was. There were parameters and it was done in a specific way. But the truth is, is that most people who have a life worth blackmailing don't want to be fucking blackmailed.
Like, most people that have shit going on for them don't actually want their shit to be wrecked. And so it's such an interesting thing that it happens all the time, these guys reaching out about wanting to be blackmailed but not having. I mean, they'll want to talk to me off platform because they don't have enough money to text per message on platform. That's why they reach out to me off platform, and they'll send me 1500 messages. I don't know why I'm like this. I just want this so bad, but I actually don't have that much money today. Goddess, is this real? It's like, oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, for fuck's sake. Like, these guys clearly want something to be wrecked in their lives. Like, maybe they do want to be found out in a certain way, but most of them don't have a shit ton to lose.
[00:59:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:59:43] Speaker A: And they're fantasizing about having so much to lose. They're fantasizing about having a girlfriend for. For me to text or an incredible job or position for me to fuck up, when in reality, they just don't.
[00:59:55] Speaker C: There's nothing there.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: There's really nothing there.
[00:59:57] Speaker C: Have you ever figured out, like, what can you do if there is truly nothing there? Like, is there something that you can play on?
[01:00:04] Speaker A: We can fantasize about it.
[01:00:06] Speaker C: Okay, yeah, right. Like, closest you can get the thing.
[01:00:10] Speaker A: Like, we fantasize about. Oh, you know, what if everyone found you out, that you were on this call with me right now, that you wanted to get fucked, that you want to be exposed to the world as a slut. And on a deeper level, I think that a part of them does. Like, a part of them wants to be seen in that way. And so there is a. There is a type of sub that we can play in that. And that is real. That's, like, rooted in a reality of, like, you're sick of faking it. You're sick of not being you. You want everyone to know who you are. You want someone to walk in and see you getting off to weird. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you want to be seen in this way. So that does exist, and there is a world that. That can be played within.
[01:00:54] Speaker B: But if they're broke, they're not even getting the fantasy.
[01:00:57] Speaker A: But that's the fucking thing. That's the thing. If you can't afford the conversation, that's why a lot of these guys will hit up Twitter, you know, I want to be exposed, and I want you to post me and I want you to tell the world. And I'm like, why would I do that? Like, why would I put you on my fucking profile? Like, promotion? Like, why? I'm not a fucking Advertising. Like, you don't even pay me. Like, what are you doing? Like, you expose yourself if you want that. Like, where? Again with, like, getting rid of responsibility as well, you know, like, you tell the world what a slut I am. Like, I can't do that for myself. So there's a lot of things to unpack with it. But at the end of the day, it's fucking annoying. And most of the guys who want to engage in it are broke and, like, can't actually afford the service. So again, they just go into the wasteland of fucking dm. But then, right, but then someone will message. Like, you know, they'll message on different platforms and it's still. Again, it's the fantasy. It's a fantasy of having a life worth exploding and also an element of exploding your own life and not having to fake it every day. But again, like, let's get rooted in reality.
Let's start with where we're at. Start with where we're actually at.
Okay, and what do you have?
[01:02:26] Speaker C: It's not much here to fuck up.
[01:02:27] Speaker A: Yeah, right. I had a. I had a guy message me the other day. Really like. And he's been around for fucking ever. And he messaged me again about it. And I'm like, didn't we establish that you don't have the budget for this? And he was like, oh, he's messaged me on like, telegram. And he's like, I said again. And he sent like $5 somewhere. And yet then he sent like eight messages. I don't know why I'm like this. I just.
Those messages you just sent, the what you just paid doesn't even cover that. Yeah, that's a problem, right? Like, that's why. Like, that's why these platforms exist and are great. And it's, you know, pay for why you're fucking here. So, yeah, the broke blackmail slut.
[01:03:10] Speaker C: I wonder if almost like, then the kink end up just becoming, like, being broken and trying to get as much out of it as possible.
[01:03:18] Speaker A: Oh, that's definitely a thing.
That is definitely a thing. Being broke and trying to get the most out of it. This goes back to the Loud. The Loud name slut. It's the guys who want so much and they. And I always say, I'm like, I have sluts who are broke who talk to me about being broke and how they don't have a lot of money to spend on this. They'll send a message every once in a while. They'll save up, they'll come on live and they'll talk, but they won't take a lot of time and energy, right? Like, they're not like living out this fantasy on alive for free. And then there's guys who text on social media or who will come on alive and they're talking about themselves and they're going into their kink and they're wanting to take, take, take, take, take. And again, it's like those are the fucking guys who go out into the world and they take, take, take, take, take, and they want everything for nothing. And truthfully, guys who are ever going to be successful because they take that energy into their jobs, they think they need to start at the top, they deserve everything. And they have nothing to offer, not a dime or even a conversation. Like they're just, they take time, energy, they're demanding, they're entitled and they take that into their world. And they're the same exact way versus guys that I have come in who are maybe younger, maybe struggling. They realize they're, they don't have the money right now. They're up, upfront and honest about that. And then they come back when they've gotten an amazing job, when they do have money because they realize they're not offering a lot so they can, they can receive what it is I'm willing to offer, but they're not going to take, take, take, take, take, because they can't fucking give. They get that value for value concept and that follows them out into the world as well. Whereas the opposite is fucking true. And those guys, I literally will tell them straight to their face like, you're going nowhere, man.
[01:05:10] Speaker C: Dude, all fucking men need to hear.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: And number 12 and number 12, not too far off, but in the same vein. The talk for hours guy like, the text for hours about like logistics and though, what are we going to do and how much time do I need and what are we going to do next? And what, like for a five minute call, For a five minute call for hours, the texting will go back and forth. And this is. I charge more off platform for this very fucking reason because you're texting me about all this shit. And it's like, let's just fucking get on the phone call and it's five minutes. And they will text for hours about the logistics and just like the things. And it's, it's not build up. There are some guys who like build up for hours. That's fun. Going back and forth, which is something.
[01:06:10] Speaker C: Interestingly enough, as a sexuality educator and coach is something I experience on my side too. Which I tend to, you know, chalk up at the beginning, but usually find out that it's just this. When we start speaking about sex and things that feel taboo, we feel so out of control. And it is just this want to just regain control of, like, if I just know every aspect of what's about to happen.
[01:06:34] Speaker A: Very interesting.
[01:06:35] Speaker C: I just know exactly what you're gonna.
[01:06:37] Speaker A: Say, and it's all gonna go, what am I gonna do? What are you gonna have me do? What are you gonna say? How long is it gonna last? It's just like. Which defeats the entire point. Just go, like, you don't actually need all these details. Like, there's a. There's a point. And it's also, like, respecting our time. Absolutely. As professionals, as people, and realizing if you're going to sit here and have. If you're going to ask me a million pre questions, that's a lot of my time you're. You're taking, and that's cool, but you need to pay for it.
[01:07:09] Speaker C: Yeah. And I also take it as a big, big hint where I'm like, okay, we need to talk about trust here. If you don't trust me enough to lead this conversation without knowing every single.
[01:07:19] Speaker A: Step of the way, that says something in and of itself.
[01:07:22] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[01:07:23] Speaker A: We need to let go of some of that control, which is interesting in.
[01:07:27] Speaker C: Your dom like way, because it's all about trust.
[01:07:30] Speaker A: That's why I tell them. I literally say, just call. Yeah, you're fine. But I mean, this can go on. And I will get, like, to a certain extent, but then it gets to. It. It gets to a point. It's just like, let. Let's just do this.
[01:07:43] Speaker C: Yeah. Like I always tell my clients, like, when you are in a space of feeling not anxious, there's this, like, beautiful space of being uncomfortable where when we are in the. Uncomfortable is where we grow and take that leap. As long as you're not, like, you know, moving towards anxiety, you're moving towards. As long as you stay in that uncomfortable, just get fucking curious and take that leap, period. Because what's about to happen is going to be exactly what you've ever wanted.
[01:08:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Or you're going to realize it's not what you want. And either way, that's a win. Yes, absolutely. Either way, it's a win. And that's why I tell my subs all the time, like, guys who are too afraid, they get too worked up and they get nervous, and I'm like, you are going to spend forever thinking about what could have happened. And the Potential that exists here. And so instead of actually experiencing it, you're just going to have all these what ifs in your heads head forever. Which again, leads to the shame and guilt and like, questioning and all this when you could just experience it and say, hey, I like it, or hey, I don't, and then move the on, you know, like, do what you do with that information versus living in your head forever about it.
[01:08:55] Speaker C: I always tell them, if you have the what if and it sounds negative, just shift it into what if, what if.
Like, instead of the.
[01:09:06] Speaker A: Is everything but what if, but what if? Huh? Perhaps. Yeah, perhaps.
[01:09:12] Speaker C: You never know.
[01:09:13] Speaker A: You never know.
[01:09:15] Speaker B: You can't find some man.
[01:09:17] Speaker A: You can't. That's the beauty of it. You have to be in the uncertainty and, like, be willing to be in that unknown and the uncomfortable of the moment. Yes. And seeing where you blossom.
So that was 12. And I know that's. I think that's what I promised, but I actually have a bonus to leave us. To leave us.
The bonus.13 is the sub who has an amazing experience. We have an amazing connection throughout this engagement. And then as soon as they come, they hang the fuck up. They hang up. And then they. Even some of them, a lot of them will text afterwards and be like, that was the most amazing thing ever. And they'll tip. Even some of them will tip. And this is a through line, right? They will tip the rest of their credits and then delete their account. You know, they will have had such a good experience. However, they just hang the fuck up at the end. Like, I'm a robo. Robo dummy. Like a fucking AI Bitch. Like it's a porno. Like, they just end the call immediately. And I have actually worked. I have a sub that I worked with forever. And we have. It's very specific. Like, I punish them if they do that. And now he would never do that anymore. But he and we would talk. Like, we had conversations and we got to know each other and then it was. And then he would jizz and he would hang up immediately. And I'm like, bro, like, say bye. Say thank you. You've just been through this experience. I am a fucking human being.
[01:10:53] Speaker C: Do you think it's more of a power move or do you think it's more of like an ejaculation shame?
[01:10:59] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:10:59] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:10:59] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:11:00] Speaker A: I do not think it's a power move in most cases.
The majority of cases, what I found pretty much through and through is it's. They don't know what to do now. Like, they feel all of a sudden, literally, guys who are like, I want to eat my cum so bad. Like, I want to eat it, I'm going to shovel it into my mouth. And that's why I say when my subs, who, once they come, then they eat their cum, they get slut badges of honor. Because that makes you a real slut. That in that moment of post not clarity, you've already jizz. It's. You're in that vulnerable, open, exposed moment. You're, you know, soft. And, and when then you eat it, I'm like, you're a real slut. Because some, a lot of people will get off to the idea of eating it. They'll taste it even they'll be wanting to eat it. And then as soon as they come, they either, you know, won't and they'll say bye or they'll just hang the fuck up. I'm like, wow, we just went from 120 to negative 60 and 0 seconds.
[01:12:01] Speaker C: Post not clarity is a scary space to be for some where they're like, they all sudden lift their head up and they're like, what am I doing?
Yeah, how did this dis get on my face?
[01:12:13] Speaker A: Well, and there can be some traps.
[01:12:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm here.
[01:12:17] Speaker A: Well, and there can be some beauty in that. And I had a, I had a sub. It was an hour long call, maybe more. And I had him up upside down, fucking screaming, mommy, give me a dick. You know, it's not always mommy, it's just the one I always use. I feel like, you know, just like make me take it. Like, total slut. And as soon as he jizzed all over his own face, like, you know, plow pose. The next second he's like flipped over and the next thing out of his mouth, his octave went down like 10 notes. And he's like, you'll never believe this, but like I actually never, I'm never a sub. I'm like, I'm always on. And as he has his own fat load dripping from his beard, he's telling me that, you know, he's like, mommy, Mommy. And I'm never like this. I'm like, okay, like that post, not click, it's me. Okay, that's cool. Like whether you are, you're not. But that post, you know, we can have a moment to connect there.
[01:13:13] Speaker C: You don't need to reclaim.
[01:13:14] Speaker A: Or you can just hang up and be.
That plow post was really good. It's really good. You've been working on that for a while.
The progress, the growth, you know, like this doesn't have to be who you are, but just not being able to, like, say bye. I think it has. It's. It's a weird. It's a Not weird. It just is a thing that as soon as they come. But it tells me what I have to work with and I call it out. And most of them respond to it well. And it really does come down to. They just. They don't know how to be intimate and say. And engage with this and then close it off like we're humans.
[01:13:55] Speaker B: It's not a middle and an end.
[01:13:56] Speaker A: An end.
[01:13:57] Speaker C: Aftercare. I was gonna say, like, you're teaching what I teach. You're teaching aftercare. You're teaching how to be there after you feel all the pleasure and you have the ups and downs. Like, it is such an important part.
[01:14:10] Speaker A: It's so important. And they want that because they'll text for it. They want that, but they don't know how to, like, be face to face in that. Like, they're more. It gets.
[01:14:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:14:20] Speaker A: Which I feel like could be a whole post. Not clarity. Is it beautiful? So there it is.
[01:14:28] Speaker C: It was amazing.
[01:14:29] Speaker A: I love my. I love my subs, I love what I do. And so much of it is so beautiful. But of course there's shit, like anyone who grinds my gears. And if you're a sub listening to this, then don't be it. Like, don't do it. Or at least don't come to me with it. You know what I'm saying? Or come to me with it openly. This is what I want to be. I know you don't want this.
[01:14:54] Speaker B: How can we figure this out right now?
[01:14:57] Speaker A: This is where I'm at. I will always appreciate that more than you coming to me and telling me you got banged by 12 cheerleaders.
I don't believe it.
[01:15:08] Speaker C: And if you are the guy out there who has been banged by 12 cheerleaders, let us fucking know.
[01:15:12] Speaker A: Let us actually know. And I want photo. Thank you. Yeah, and I mean, like, the strap ons. Like, you got fucking pegged by 12 cheerleaders, by the way.
And on that note, we will see you next week right here on my Queen of Calm. Stay fucking slutty.
[01:15:33] Speaker D: Waiting for she's got what you need While you over there at the door Nightmares are dreams you just need me the queen has all that you should need Just say that Queen victim that will be done Come.
[01:15:54] Speaker A: Right in, close the door Just waiting.
[01:15:58] Speaker D: For what she's got in store Come.
[01:16:00] Speaker A: Right in, close the door Just for.
[01:16:03] Speaker D: What you got in store. Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over you. Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over you.
[01:16:16] Speaker A: Go and get them. Love thy queendom. Come is a production of TQC, LLC. Music by Guillermo Jamat Jr. And LDK. All stories and audio used with permission. Names and details have been changed to protect the sluts involved.
